Worthiness. It is such a tricky concept in our society. Athletes. Celebrities. Well known activists that work on behalf of the poor or climate change. We might be tempted to assign them a level of worthiness based on their achievements. Worthiness is one of those things that morphs into social comparison. That person has or does more than me, so that person is more worthy than I am. That person is more attractive than me, so that person is more worthy than me. And the hard part is that this all happens on a subconscious level. It is a component of the conditioning we have received over the years from our family, educators, faith communities, and the media. Watch a toddler navigate the world and observe a human being with no issues about worthiness. And yet, the longer we traverse the planet, the more we have an awareness of what society believes makes us worthy.

I push against these messages every day. I do not fit into the world’s image of worthiness. I am an overweight woman with one breast and too many surgery scars to count. The right side of my face is paralyzed; I have gray hair and an abundance of wrinkles. I am sixty five years old without wealth or prestige. I am sliding into retirement, where I will no longer have a profession to cultivate a sense of worth. My children are grown and do not need the regular guidance they once relied on so heavily. On the outside, I do not have the markers for worthiness. But I know that I am worthy.

How do I see myself as worthy? Because I see the sacredness of being human. I see the divine nature of being alive, something I thought would not be the case at this stage in life. I was not sure whether my deformed heart or cancer would cause my death, but still being alive at this age was nothing I would have forecast. So, my worthiness does not come from my accomplishments or my appearance. Being invisible as an older, ill, and unremarkable woman means nothing about my worthiness. Despite not relating my worthiness to external factors, I still take care for my appearance and try to make a positive difference in the lives of people. But, I do not rest on them to be worthy. Here is what I lean on: I was created, I am connected to God, I am here.

Why does all this rambling about worthiness matter, my dear readers? Because I know you have received the same distorted messages that I did. Because I know you, too, are sacred. You, too, are divine. You, too, are totally worthy, just the way you are. Lean on that. Be well.