My general approach is to stay away from any sociopolitical topic on this blog. This week has led to an exception. The hearings for Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser Christine Blasey Ford have compelled me to share my thoughts and emotions. This blog is about living an authentic life as I journey with cancer. To avoid writing about these feelings diminishes my authenticity.

The hearings have demonstrated dynamics of oppression that have been written about for decades and those issues are worthy of discussion. My internal struggle is about telling the truth. The hearings dramatically demonstrated what can happen when we tell the truth. We run the risk of not being believed. Or our truth may not make a difference. My sense is that many people believed Dr. Ford, but one might argue it did not influence the proceedings in the way some people had hoped. 

So then, what is the value of the truth? It has value in itself, not in the outcome. If I tell the truth and nothing changes, the value still remains in the truth-telling process. There is integrity and honor in respectfully speaking our truth. Does that mean that we never tie expectations to our communication? No, I would argue Dr. Ford had an expected outcome. We all do. But if we don’t meet those expectations, giving voice to our truth wins the day. 

Why is truth-telling worthy of a blog post? It has power because I have decided to voice my truth in a way I never have before. After decades of hiding behind my professional identity as an advocate for survivors of sexual abuse, I am disclosing my own pain. As a young child, I experienced sexual abuse. The details are not important. Truth-telling is. My truth is I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. When I disclosed to my parents, they did believe me but minimized it to keep peace within our extended family. My truth is that the abuse has caused me emotional pain. My truth is that it is one source of my empathy and compassion for people. My truth is that I have kept it hidden for years because of my own shame. My truth is that this hidden shame interferes with my authenticity. I cannot speak to my respect for Christine Ford and pretend I do not wish to speak of my own desire to disclose. Let me be clear. I do not equate this post with what Dr. Ford did on Thursday. She faced death threats and the disrespect of many who questioned her truth. I am sitting wrapped in a blanket with a kitty at my feet and my computer on my lap. Still scared, but at this moment insulated from the harsh judgments of others.

I want to challenge you, my dear readers, to speak your truth, with thoughtful consideration. It may not be the truth about childhood wounds. It may be the truth about what you are experiencing in this moment. And at the same time, I want to challenge you to listen to the truths of others. Honor it as the badge of courage it is. It is the only way to bring healing to ourselves, our relationships, and our world.