The moment my eyes popped open this morning I thought about how today was the beginning of a new time. For the first time in seven and a half years, I did not take a cancer drug this morning. Brightly colored supplements and vitamins, yes. The drug Tamoxifen, no. Today, I officially stop treatment. Nine …
“I don’t want you to be mad at me if I die too soon.” As the words tripped off my tongue, I felt something click inside. Boom. I had just given voice to my deepest fear. If I make the decision to stop treatment, will Brandi, Amber, and Brie be angry with me if I …
This past weekend brought more statements about John McCain’s cancer prognosis from his family. It was ripe with statements using words like “fight” and “battle”. This language seems consistent with Senator McCain’s history of military service and imprisonment at a Vietnamese POW camp. But aggressive language about cancer makes me feel uncomfortable. You know, uncomfortable …
This week has been an opportunity to reflect on how one responds when life says “no”. I was listening to a podcast with the late Maya Angelou and Oprah on yet another trip to and from the doctor’s office. Maya was discussing how she responds to life’s greatest disappointments with gratitude. “Thank you for firing …
My wise friend told me last week that she is going to make a T shirt for me that says, “Be careful what you say to me. I might blog about you.” This conversation took place after I ranted for a few minutes about thoughtless things people say to cancer patients. I had been on …
I am sitting here on Sunday evening and quietly reflecting on the past few days. Friday began with an amazing appointment with my oncologist, where Brandi and I learned that I am holding my own. There are no signs of new cancer in my kidney, uterus, or liver. The worst news I heard from the …
Sometimes I think my brain is totally emptied of any thought I would want to share with other human beings. I wonder if this is the end of writing this blog. And then life happens. Today life happened in my lymphedema support group meeting at the hospital. In case you are not aware of lymphedema, …
This week brought the sad news of Senator John McCain’s diagnosis of brain cancer. No matter what side of the political aisle people sit on, many used social media to wish the Senator well. I believe many of the tweets and posts were well intentioned when they described Senator McCain as “strong” or “a fighter”. …
I often encourage my clients to write letters of love and compassion to parts of themselves that they reject or dislike. It made me think that maybe it is time for me to join that party bus and write a love letter to cancer… Dear Cancer,I am not sure how to write this letter. Is …
The past five days have been challenging. Last week’s endometrial biopsy came back inconclusive because the surgeon did not collect endometrial tissue in the pipette. While this is a rare occurrence, it does happen in about 5% of endometrial biopsies. Just call me Miss Five Percent. What does this mean for me? It means that …
