Dear Julie,

It’s me; your ego. I thought it was time for me to write you because lately I am showing up in your thoughts a lot. You remember… a couple of weeks ago when you could not scale an icy boulder to get into a canyon you really wanted to hike in Canada. Or during a family meeting when your children dismissed your opinion about something without any thought or hesitation? Or how about the time someone asked you what you do for a living and you gulped quietly before sharing that you are retired? That’s me. I am the part of you that measures your worthiness. I am the part of you that compares you to other people. I am the part of you that needs to be (fill in the blank….. smart, strong, capable etc).

Julie, please remember that ego exists within every human being. The need for comparing, measuring, and performance are an innate part of everyone. And having an ego is not always bad. Sometimes, I have inspired you to try new things that scare you and later, exhilarate you. Sometimes, your drive to feel worthy has resulted in amazing accomplishments that have made the world a better, kinder place for some of the people whose lives you have touched. Sometimes, your desire to feel strong has led you to care for your body in a way that has probably made your journey with cancer more tolerable..

But ego must exist in balance with spirit. Spirit is the part of you that is connected to God; the part of you that feels unconditionally loved; Spirit is the part of you that is self-compassionate; the part of you that feels peaceful about your life and your existence on this planet. The ego part of you that was distraught about not scaling the icy boulder needs to be balanced with the whisper of spirit that says, “You hiked up a mountain and down a cliff to get to that boulder and every step of the way, you were immersed in breath-taking beauty.” That part of you that felt dismissed by your children needs spirit to remind you they are young women who are independent and do not need to follow their mother’s lead. You have taught them to follow their own. The ego part of you that wants to prove your worthiness needs to be balanced with the spiritual experience of divine love.

I did not write this letter because I want you to discard me. But maybe, just maybe, you could focus on providing ego and spirit some balance in your thoughts. There is room for both.

Love, Ego