We were asked to choose an image that evoked a feeling or a connection. What image resonated with us? That was our job at Sunday’s worship service. Out of all the photos laid out on the long tables before us, I chose the picture above. I chose the photo of the little girl walking down the dirt road holding unto her teddy bear.

So many pieces of the photo speak to my state of mind. The young child walking alone and looking down at the dirt road, as though she is deep in thought for one so young. Her teddy bear represents comfort and companionship. Yet, it is oddly out of proportion to her own size. It’s like she’s carrying something bigger than she is.

Then, Pastor Rob began to read the lesson for the day, the story of Jesus’ followers on the Road to Emmaeus from the book of Luke. He asked us to look at our photo while he read and see if the image also resonated with us in the lesson. As he read, I imagined some of the disciples walking along, confused by what they had experienced in the death and resurrection of Jesus. Prior to the crucifixion, they had hoped he was the Messiah and now they felt unsure. They did not know what this meant and I imagine it created many conflicted emotions. I imagine the feelings they experienced walking down the dirt road: apprehension, sadness, a desire for faith, and some disbelief. Just like the young child. Just like me.

That is how I feel about cancer. Cancer is traveling with me on my journey, but it feels like I’m carrying something bigger than I am. I have conflicted emotions of hopefulness and faith, and despair and grief. Then I remind myself that the story of Emmaeus is also a story of revelation. Jesus revealed to the disciples he had had been walking with them. Sometimes, I don’t feel Jesus’ presence because my feelings are so strong and so all over the place. I sometimes focus too much on trying to control all the aspects of my life, that I forget to rest in the presence, and the peace, of Jesus. I don’t have this walk of faith nailed down. I just need simple reminders, a bible lesson, an image. I need to remember that peace comes gently when I turn to faith.