Today, I had the gift of spending time with a former colleague from the rape crisis center where I had previously been the Clinical Director. The conversation shifted at one point to my decision to leave my position there. I spoke to my reality at the time; worn down by cancer and treatment, I could not provide to my clients or the staff what I believed they needed or deserved. She told me that she wished I had shared that with them, as they would have reassured me about my work with them and I would have been able to stay longer. I shared that it was time for the new Clinical Director to step forward and how that has allowed others to grow, including her. It was a time for a new season to begin.

When that new season started, I had been working at the rape crisis center for sixteen years. I remember wondering how I would survive without the role that I had so carefully crafted. It was so much of my identity and it took so much of my daily energy. Supporting survivors of sexual violence was not simply the line of a mission statement. It was a passion that still burned brightly within me. Letting go was hard. But then, I knew nothing of what was on the horizon in this new season. A fulfilling private practice. Cancer. More cancer. New challenges. And somehow, I navigated it. Not always with elegance or wisdom, but I navigated it nonetheless.

And now, I am once again in a new season, retirement. I have to be honest and admit that while it excites me, in still quiet moments, it is a season of loss and anxiety. It is in those moments that I try to reflect on the ways I have already travelled a new path. I have a track record of moving from season to season. Is it hard sometimes? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

So, my dear readers, what is the point of all of this? It is to remind you that you have a track record too. Not one that is perfect and shiny. Your track record probably looks like mine: running, crawling, falling, and getting back up. It is a record about moving through seasons of darkness and light. It is about letting go of what was and opening ourselves to what can be. It is about loving ourselves with a compassionate heart. I know you can do it. So can I.