Brokenness. I have never liked this word. I never appreciated brokenness when it is applied to my car or my computer. It creates a sizzle of fear to run down my spine. But when the word brokenness is applied to people, I really struggle inside. I struggle because the word begins to sound and feel like defective, or unworthy, or unlovable. It feels like something needs to be fixed.

This week has been an opportunity to revisit this word. As I walk with people on their journey, I am a witness to their feelings of brokenness. Trauma, betrayal, and physical illness. Unmet needs for nurturance during childhood, messages of unworthiness, and powerlessness. So many sources of brokenness for people in our world. And so many people feel broken inside. And yet, we hide our brokenness from each other. “If I let you know my pain and my brokenness, will I be enough for you?” “Will you judge me?” And because we hide that part of ourselves, so do most people on the planet. Hiding our pain and brokenness is more normal than being authentic in our world today. But hiding keeps us alone, like we are the only one who experiences this shame. Ron Potter-Efron said in a speech I attended that one way to heal from shame is to accept that we are flawed beings in a flawed world. His words from two decades ago still resonate with me. And yet, I avoid the word brokenness. Not my own brokenness. Just the word. I know I’m broken. The path of my life is strewn with remnants of old hurts, betrayals, and of course, cancer. They have all left me with a sense of brokenness, but the word makes it too real, and makes me too vulnerable.

So, this week, it was time for me to put on my big girl panties and face my discomfort with the word brokenness. It was the only way for me to support others with an open and genuine heart. It made me reflect on the card I received from my cousin, Stephi, this spring when I was fighting one infection after another. The card read, “In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with Gold. The flaw is seen as a unique piece of the object’s history, which adds to its beauty.”

I’d like to say my discomfort with the word brokenness has subsided throughout the week. That is not the truth. I can say, I am working to reframe it in my mind. I am trying to see brokenness as part of being alive and experiencing life’s painful events. I’m looking for the gold, those life lessons I could not have without these events. But most of all, I am owning my brokenness. I own it so that we can all share with each other rather than allow it to exist in the nether regions of our spirit. For those who have shared with me this week… my daughter, my clients, my friend… know that I see your brokenness and it just makes me love you more. I am honored to share your journey.