This week has been vacation time for me. It has been creative time painting in my art room with quiet strains of spa music playing in the background. It has been quiet time in the pool, working out and relaxing. It has been time to drive the jeep with the top off, with the music up and the warmth of the sun gracing my face. It was also time for me to go with friends from church to the movies, where I saw the new documentary, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”. The movie weaves the tale of Fred Rogers, the creative and spiritual force behind the television show, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. 

Fred Rogers was a complicated man. Ill as a young child, Fred spent a great deal of time in bed and isolated from other children. This created a deep well of compassion, as well as an ability to creatively entertain himself. Fred felt called into the ministry, but he also felt called to the brand-new medium of television. Fred believed he could make a difference. He created a show that at its core, held each child in an image of unique specialness and unconditional acceptance. He produced puppet shows and wrote songs about liking people for their inside, just the way they are. For over three decades he talked with children about the tough topics of life, like grief, fear, and not feeling like you are enough. And in community forums, he listened to children. He listened to their thoughts and their emotions. He understood them.

But Fred Rogers was disturbed by the direction the television medium was going and the messages young children received about life, relationships, the world, and themselves. In an interview toward the end of his career, he was asked about how he made a difference in his life. He replied that he did not believe he did. He talked about his inability to influence overall television programming for children. Watching this part of the movie saddened me, because Mr. Rogers influenced so many young children in his time. Yet, he saw the bigger picture, of how television was going to more aggressive content and how this could potentially shape children’s behavior in the years to come.

All of this triggered a common theme to my thoughts, which is the concept of how do any of us create a legacy. Cancer has pushed me to consider my legacy well before its time. Sadly, when I do this, I feel like Fred Rogers. I am more likely to consider what is left undone than what is done. There is so much to do. To create a safe place for LGBT Christians to gather and to encourage other churches to do the same. To feed the hungry and the homeless. To help others who struggle with cancer and chronic illness. As I reflect on this, I realize my approach is rather Fred Rogers-like. I may not have ticked off every item on my legacy to-do list, but in my own quiet way, I’d like to think I touched people. My family and friends, my clients through three decades of doing therapy, the cancer patients I have talked with and listened to. I may not have accomplished those big picture ideas. But just like Fred, I’ve touched some lives and made a difference. 

As much as watching the clip of the interview with Fred saddened me, it also made me grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to shift my perceptions about what is a legacy. To move my focus from just the big picture to include the smaller, everyday accomplishments that matter in the lives of people I touch. I still hope I get to have those big picture accomplishments. But in the meantime, I am going to pay attention to just being a “good neighbor” to the people in my own little neighborhood. Thanks, Fred.