The email arrived through a website that promotes my practice. The writer requested information about whether I had worked with women who are experiencing the transition to later life. This gave me pause, not because I questioned whether or not I had the experience as a therapist. My view shifted, as I slowly began to see myself as a woman who is making that same transition.
What does that mean for someone who has faced cancer over and over for the last seven years? Does it mean something different because death may be lurking at my doorstep as I type this at my computer? I don’t think so. I think the process and choices are similar whether you face this stage of life with robust health or a life altering illness. The process of looking at our life can hold the same pitfalls. We can look at ourselves with compassion and realize our journey has held moments of struggle when we did not bring our best self to the table. We can look at ourselves with scorn and remorse that makes us feel small and ineffectual in life. We get to choose. Do we decide to eye our life span tenderly, gently? That will be the only pathway to creating new meaning and understanding.
Novelist Marie von Exner-Eschenbach wrote, “Old age transfigures or fossilizes.” That is so powerful for me because it allows me to see the Third Chapter of my life as an open opportunity. Much like the earlier chapters of my life, this chapter will be shaped by the decisions of thought and action I make every day. How do I want to be transfigured? I want to live a life of inspiration, where the creative energy I receive from God is translated into something that enriches the lives of others. I want to know that I make a difference to the people I touch and care for. I may not be able to change the world, but I can change my own little corner. I want to continue to create a legacy that speaks to my core values of faith, gratitude, and kindness. Saturday’s “Are You Hungry?” took us to the bus station, where I had a conversation with a homeless man. When I approached him with a lunch, he looked suspicious and took a long pause before he accepted the food I offered. At the end of a brief conversation, he said, “You’re pretty cool.” and asked for a hug. That’s what I want. For one homeless person to know that there are folks out there that have a heart for the suffering they experience. For him to think that maybe not everyone wants to hurt him. What a minuscule sense of legacy, but one that that transfigures me, inspires me.
No matter what stage in life you currently reside in, I ask you to carefully reflect. How do you want your life to be transfigured?
